Friday, June 28

Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness

Ever since I left my family’s house I grew a lot as a person, but although I love this fresh freedom of a life that is just beginning to flourish, there are times in which I miss my teenage years and the way things used to be back then. My old room in my mother’s house, my friends daily company, the songs we used to listen, our silly talks at school, the lack of problems and the unknown road we had ahead of us (without to mention that we were nothing but teenagers full of dreams and expectations). I wish I could go back in time. And if feeling down in the bumps wasn’t enough this rainy weather is not collaborating for my recovery. I can barely remember the last time we were granted with the winter sunshine, and its absence is driving me back to the ground. First and second pictures show a Christmas card from Fisk School, my alma mater, written by my english teacher. The third is from a lovely night in company of friends and good music. We decided to go at the last minute so hardly anyone went. Despite the cold we quickly warmed ourselves with wine. Oh and this was already the fourth round!


When I’m on my gloomy days one of the few things that cheers me up is chatting over some cups of wine with my oldest friends. Nowadays we’re totally apart because of college and common everyday life issues, so if before we could hang around all the time now we set up our dates once a year, at best. As a way of bringing sweet memories back to life I collect some stuff given by these friends, things such as photographs, letters, post cards, souvenirs and even voodoo dolls! Readers who have read my blog through and through can be easily aware of my extreme nostalgic personality, what few people realize is that my preference for old-fashioned habits goes much further. I for example much prefer to receive letters and post cards where I can keep my loved ones handwriting for an entire lifetime than printing e-mails or any other kind of online message. People say that this old mean of communication combines with me, even though it’s a little bit worn out these days.

Music is a medicine that works pretty well for me when I’m in such miserable state of mind. Creating playlists is kind of a hobby and for this week sadness I’ve been sitting here trying to keep my eyes closed while enjoying 90’s rock bands like Smashing Pumpkins. Oh and tracks like 1979 and Bullet With Butterfly Wings from the album Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness bring shades of my past! Every sunset I would lie down on my house’s roofs to listen to music and watch the clouds as they grew colorful. If you feel like tasting this band’s songs, here you are a small list of what has been intensely played on Gremena’s playlist lately: 1979, Bullet With Butterfly Wings, Doomsday Clock, Tonight Tonight, Ave Adore, Perfect and The Celestials, Violet Rays, My Love Is Winter, (taken from the new album Oceania). 

Now I want to end this post with some good news: For starters, yesterday I began to send my curriculum to several English schools and gladly received some responses. Among them, three calls (and I’m still waiting for more) and one e-mail. If you read my entire profile you must have noticed that I’m already working as a teacher, but so far I’m giving private classes only. Next monday I have appointments at two institutions and hopefully they won't turn me down this time. I also want to add here pictures from my homeland, not exactly the city where I was born in, but all the land that surrounds it. This is one of the places in which I grew up and lived for exactly twenty years of my life before moving to Curitiba. If everything goes right at college I’ll be heading to Santa Catarina anytime soon to spend my vacation.